Wednesday, November 24, 2010

these thy gifts which we are about to receive

O frumpy turkey, squeezed awkwardly onto that platter, waiting to be carved open for your pale and watery breast meat, how unappetizing you are, and how insipid, too.

O squash and sweet potatoes, you whose potential is never realized on Thanksgiving Day when for some reason you are whipped and oversweetened and topped with mini marshmallows (WHY?).

O stuffing, I do so love bread, yet not, somehow, when it's been cooked inside a dead bird's carcass.


O green beans, inevitably overcooked and sprinkled with slivered almonds or stale breadcrumbs for pizzazz, how did you come to be the one representative of all other green vegetables at this meal?

O canned, jellied cranberry, sliced and placed on the table where you remain unmolested by all but the elderly and insane, not even a taste of your jiggling mass has ever crossed my lips.

O mashed potatoes and rolls, you are my best and only friends; my plate runneth over with your bounty of carbohydrates. Carbohydrates slathered with butter, no less! And for you both I am so thankful.


  1. Hooray (exclamation point) There are so many ways you could have gone w the cranberry stuff, and you made the best of it. Nice to see you out here, thanks.

  2. You and me both sister. We are cut from the same cloth literally and figuratively.

  3. Dear GFD,

    Your riff on Thanksgiving makes me sad. Please forgive me in advance for my candor, this is the Manhattan typing.

  4. I'm sorry you couldn't join us for our southern Thanksgiving, where we had home canned green beans cooked with plentiful strips of ham(almonds are for fancy people),then skip right over the sickly sweet potatoes and dive into the tangy artichoke casserole,then sample Andrew's mixed green salad with pecans, apples and a maple dijon vinaigrette, and top it all off with pumpkin cheesecake. Maybe next year?

  5. Or join ours' with DED in attendance -- mushroom squash soup to start, butternut squash & mushroom wellington, brussell sprouts w/ chestnuts and bacon, sweet potatoes whipped with butter, chiles, garlic and a touch of maple syrup, beet and carrot slaw and green salad, followed by pumpkin chiffon pie ( an absolutely perfect ending) and fig crostata from the very last issue of Gourmet . Lots of wine and friends and some pomegranate infused gin while doing the dishes. Now that is Thanksgiving!
    But I did miss the stuffing and gravy. Forget the bird, we say!

  6. I'm glad, anonymous, that you approve.

    I wish I'd both literally and figuratively had a piece of that chocolate pie, Mojie.

    Don't be sad, Amy's Manhattan! My Thanksgiving was quite lovely, and I hope yours was, too.

    I'm there, Zetti; that all sounds delicious. Except for those green beans. Not even ham can save them, I fear.

    I'm all about ditching the turkey, Sidekick, and those sweet potatoes sound divine. As does the slaw. And the pumpkin chiffon pie. And the...oh, you get the point.