for whom the bee stings

I'd intended to write and post something here tonight, but it's 1:30 a.m. and I just got home from my one-day-a-week job (I need to ask for a raise). So apropos of nothing I'd like to share with you my new favorite poem, the Schmidt Sting Pain Index, which my friend (and cocktail-boat captain) Kate D., who's taking a beekeeping class, recently sent me.

Schmidt Sting Pain Index
1.0 Sweat bee: Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.
1.2 Fire ant: Sharp, sudden, mildly alarming. Like walking across a shag carpet and reaching for the light switch.
1.8 Bullhorn acacia ant: A rare, piercing, elevated sort of pain. Someone has fired a staple into your cheek.
2.0 Bald-faced hornet: Rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. Similar to getting your hand mashed in a revolving door.
2.0 Yellowjacket: Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.
2.x Honey bee and European hornet: Like a matchhead that flips off and burns on your skin.
3.0 Red harvester ant: Bold and unrelenting. Somebody is using a drill to excavate your ingrown toenail.
3.0 Paper wasp: Caustic and burning. Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of hydrochloric acid on a paper cut.
4.0 Pepsis wasp: Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath.
4.0+ Bullet ant: Pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like fire-walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail in your heel.

buy this book

I'm not telling you to do this because the poet is my friend. I'm not even telling you because the poems are amazing -- beautiful and heartbreaking. I'm telling you because it's a good investment.

Think of it as a get-rich-slow scheme: Buy this book now, and when Taije is the poet laureate of the United States, you can sell your first edition copy of her first book for oodles of money. Although you won't want to part with it.

It's called Houses Are Fields, and it's by Taije Silverman. You can find it online at all the usual places.