Somehow I've managed to convince others to provide most of my meals lately, which is to say that all is going according to my master plan: First get others to cook for me, then get them to clean my house, followed by world domination and/or a nap.
Last night, for example, I was invited to my sister's for dinner, where she fed me delicious beer-battered-fish tacos with avocado salsa and warm corn tortillas. Unfortunately, my photos of the food didn't come out well (my dad suggested I hold a piece of toilet paper over the flash when I take pictures, but this has had no effect except to make me look crazy). However, under a special light in her basement Maura is growing pot plants, which photographed better than dinner did.
Naw, that's broccoli, or it will one day be broccoli if all goes according to Maura's master plan, which tends more toward crafting and gardening and making me dinner than world domination (now if she would just get over here and clean my house).
Maura also betters herself by listening to educational public-radio shows. Last night over dinner she told us all some biology-related facts she learned on Radiolab, concluding her mini-lecture by yelling, "And ducks DO rape," as if someone was going to argue the point.
Suddenly that Macho Duck song doesn't seem so funny, does it?