Monday, April 20, 2009

oh my god

I've spent the past 24 hours in shock; I knew I was coming to a convent, but I had no idea what that really meant.

There are 25 bedrooms just like this: single bed, dresser, medicine cabinet.

There are seven artists and writers here, and we each have a bedroom to use as a bedroom, and a bedroom to use as a studio (we could all have three or four rooms if we wanted them). I spent most of today setting up my spaces, cleaning, and walking around saying, "Oh my God."

There is religious paraphernalia EVERYWHERE, obviously. Randomly located bottles of holy water (this one is on a shelf in the kitchen),

statuary and crucifixes (this is one of the two in my bedroom),

bad paintings (the pope and Jesus were also muses),

and a full-on chapel with stained-glass windows.

But it's also a little like an abandoned retirement home. This, despite my best efforts, just will not work.

I'm hoping that the shock will wear off by tomorrow so I can get some work done and write a normal bl*g post. In the meantime, I tried to make myself feel at home by eating a burrito for lunch and making gruel a la nuts for dinner. All under the watchful eye of Jesus.


  1. I think you should make the chapel your studio. It seems like the best room in the place!
    What can we, your loyal readers send you to make that place more tolerable?
    Also, you MUST figure out how to make the stair seat work. You MUST. Then ride it like a surfboard and take pictures please.

  2. Also, think you can smuggle any of those Mary's out of there for me? It looks like there are LOTS to choose from!

  3. Great ideas, Mojie!What can your loyal readers send you? Maybe you just need a few different icons. There must be a saint or two to ward off stark spaces. Or perhaps you would prefer a featherbed? Just let us know and it's yours.

    At least you won't be distracted. In a place like this you will keep your eye on the computer and nothing else.

    Tell us about the there anything green or does it look like Vermont?

  4. We have a featherbed from our guest room I could put in the mail tomorrow, some fancy pillows? Down comforter? Some nicer sheets? Some pictures of Abe? Chris?

    Seriously, let us know what you need, I can send most anything!

  5. The Holy Water is priceless. With it, baptisms and last rites (God forbid) can be performed. (Of course, you must first be ordained...oops, after your sex change, of course, which - conveniently - can be done while you're there in CO.)

    I think the Holy Spirit may have a role to play, here; if not in your conversion, then at least to the writing project.

  6. My magic post word was "Cieri".

    I think that could be a new saint's name. St. Cieri does have a ring to it.

  7. Holy holy water, Batman... Has anyone tried to hit you with a yard stick? I certainly hope you become inspired - in the right way - by your surroundings. And, I do hope that you come home intact and perhaps newly born. It could add some color to our friendship.

  8. The holy water--give you five bucks if you drink it.

  9. That bottle of holy water pretty much epitomizes this whole place: wonderfully surreal and also a little dingy (it's full of little floaties, so I will not be drinking or performing rites with it unless times get pretty desperate). After some cleaning and a trip to WalMart (I never would have imagined that I would be so happy to walk into a box store), I feel completely settled and at one with Jesus.

    St. Cieri