repelling bunny attacks

There is a deranged dog in this house: Every time a human approaches him,

he grabs this stuffed bunny in his mouth,

shakes his head back and forth, the bunny swinging wildly,

drops the bunny and snarls,

runs away from the bunny while barking frantically,

and then runs back to the bunny and tries to look innocent, as if he didn't just try to kill it (and isn't about to try and rape it, which is what comes next).

If forced to spend every day in a housing development in a suburb of Denver, I, too, would probably become a neurotic, obsessive animal.

In fact, if I'm stuck here tomorrow, I may steal the stuffed animal and have my way with it.

That's right, Bandit; I'm coming for the bunny.