Monday, May 11, 2009
things i wish i'd never learned but feel compelled to share with you
This piece of disturbing news almost made me throw out the bar of dark chocolate from which I feed daily. Apparently some entomologist went off half-cocked on NPR's Fresh Air last week and announced that chocolate and preground coffee are full of roach parts. (Someone should kill that guy, or at least slash his tires, but since I cannot leave the house without caffeine and such bad news requires the comfort of dark chocolate to carry on, I will not be able to assassinate or stalk him; I'm counting on one of the seven of you to show a little more fortitude.)
Since then various internet people have noted that a certain amount of "insect filth," among other things, is permitted by the FDA in our food. And if you go to this FDA website (which, frankly, I do not recommend), you'll notice that the Food & Drug Administration also has no problem with a certain amount of "mammalian excreta" (most of the spices in your cupboard) and rodent filth (my precious chocolate) and maggots (canned tomatoes).
Don't kill this messenger, my friends, and please don't slash her tires, either. Instead consider growing some cacao beans in your backyard garden and making her a bar of localvore, rodent-filth-free chocolate before she loses the will to go on or decides that a couple of rat hairs a day never hurt anyone; I'm not sure which is worse.