Wednesday, July 1, 2009

dumpster wars

When I sat down this evening to whip up a little bl*g post, I realized I had nothing. So I turned to the yachtsman and asked what I should write about. His answer?

"Seagull wars, and my jihad, and why I’m on the righteous path."

But of course.

The yachtsman has opened a new front in the dumpster wars: YouTube. But I refuse to post a link to his seven-minute video of seagulls recorded at 5:30 in the morning, because he is now targeting not only the crappy Brazilian restaurant in our lobby, but also the delicious Italian restaurant in our basement, and I want to be able to continue to eat at the latter without finding saliva in my gnocchi.

And really, the yachtsman's tongue is mightier than the sword, the pen, and the online video combined, so I offer you a few of his recent war-room comments:

"What do you think of me setting up a 24/7 surveillance for that back alley? I’m only half being not serious."

"Did you hear the garbage trucks at 3:15 this morning? 3:15. I’m going to booby trap the whole area down there. It’s going to be like Da Nang. I’m going to light up the sky."

YACHTSMAN: Victory is mine.
ME: It is?
YACHTSMAN: Victory is in the eye of the beholder.


  1. Can someone please give me a little support in my dumpster war? Will you join my army? Underwrite a webcam? Boycott Trattoria and Souza's?

    The Yachtsman

  2. I will totally boycott Souza's! They suck poodonkey! Trattoria on the other hand is going to be a bit of a harder sell love.

    I do, however, LOVE the dumpster wars. I think you should start a whole other blog about the dumpster wars. Daily updates would be great!

  3. I'm with Mojie....a blog on Dumpster Wars would be fantastic! I was also thinking that maybe you should dig out that life-sized R2D2 robot that used to walk around the apartment and run it in the parking lot.

  4. Yachtsman, I think it's time to invest in a pellet gun. One Christmas I shot thirteen squirrels off my mother's bird feeder. From the dining room. As long as your army doesn't have a Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy, I might be willing to contribute my own sniping skills to the Cause.

  5. Omigod, I need to learn how to use that pellet gun. For squirrels, not seagulls. Yachtsman, may I please borrow your new gun? Quizzle, will you come to Vermont and provide lessons in squirrel sniping?

  6. EBiddie I'll bring my pellet gun in addition to my pistol and you can join me and Mojie and her new piece at the shooting range. Women are supposed to be naturally better marksmen (markswomen, that is) than men, you know. Something to do with the way their hearts beat, in conjunction with breath and manual dexterity. I am not making this up.

  7. This *is* a violation! I feel violated.