I refused to believe it when Chris sent me this in an e-mail awhile ago but it appears to be true:
"According to [Accuweather] Long Range Expert Joe Bastardi, areas from the northern Plains into the Northeast will have a 'year without a summer.'"
Other meteorological terms associated with the weather this non-summer include "shite," "suckage," and "More rain? You have got to be f*cking kidding me." It's July. I spent most of the day today dressed in fleece pants and a wool sweater, weeping and cursing that bastardi Joe Bastardi.
The antidote? Dinner at Bove's: cheap cocktails, cheap iceberg lettuce salad, cheap pasta, cheap wine, cheap women. Well, no cheap women, except for the yachtsman's cheap date, but it's dimly lit, the booths haven't been replaced since 1952, and the walls are two-toned, painted glossy red on the bottom with a wallpaper mural on top. A few years ago a friend of ours (probably unwisely) ordered the pork chop, which comes with the vegetable of the day. When our friend asked the waitress what the vegetable was, she told him, "Same vegetable for the last fifty years, honey: canned peas."