Tuesday, November 10, 2009

betty draper does not wear sock-monkey slippers

I was home sick today, which on the surface looked like any other weekday: I was unwashed and unkempt, clad in fleece and wool and slippers made to resemble sock monkeys. But instead of working, today I spent the day doing nothing.

Literally nothing. I got up at 8:00 a.m. and will be going to bed sometime soon, but I cannot tell you what I've been doing in between, because I don't know. I didn't nap, I don't have a fever, but the entire day seems to have passed without my noticing.

Although I can tell you what I ate: Peanut butter toast. Lots and lots of cookies. Homemade vegetable soup. And a nice little bowl of Gruel for the Sickly: beans and rice with a soft-boiled egg.

It's not pretty, I know. But it's blandly flavorful, if that makes any sense. Nothing spicy to irritate a sore throat, nothing rich to upset a stomach, but hearty and comforting, nonetheless, salty and yolky and delicious.

The yachtsman doesn't like the adjective "yolky." And he doesn't like Gruel for the Sickly, either. "If it were 1955," he said as he laid on the couch while I prepared my food, his feet up, hands clasped beneath his head, "you'd be making me dinner." Methinks the lad doth watch Mad Men too much.


  1. There is food in the Draper household, but one never sees Betty making a meal. The "maid" makes the meals and does the dishes. Where is my "maid"? Does the yachtsman think he has a "maid"?

  2. I believe the yachtsman *wishes* he had a maid. He's a dreamer, that yachtsman.

  3. Tell Don "the Yachtsman" Draper that Betty NEVER cooks. As a matter of fact, I think she just sits around smoking cigarettes and taking pills and laying (lying?) down! If he wants a Betty Draper there will be lots of qualudes involved!

  4. I like your recipe for Gruel for the Sickly. Reminds me of my mother's SickDay Specialty: "Egg on Toast" growing up - a soft boiled egg on lightly buttered toast. With a side of Price is Right.

    I also would like to add that MeatMan has a recipe that should be called Gruel for those with a Death Wish. It goes something like this:
    1) Cook Ramen noodles as indicated on package.
    2) Remove all condiments from fridge.
    3) Drain noodles (save salty, delicious packet for StephFace).
    4) Add all condiments.

    The end product always reeks of ranch dressing and cock sauce, looks like dog-sick, but makes him indescribably happy.

    Needlesstosay, the NickFace household does not resemble the Drapers either.

  5. That MeatMan gruel really does sound like a death wish, but I just spent half an hour watching 1970s Price Is Right clips on YouTube.