morning at the convent

The light is beautiful here, and the toast is pretty good, too.



Sadly (for them), the other residents get up each morning and put on normal clothes, so I feel pretty classy shuffling around in my Couch Jedi outfit. That's just how I roll: in sweatpants and striped socks and a sweater with holes in the armpits. Yes, I will come model in your runway show, and no, my one-of-a-kind designs are not for sale. The people who run the soup kitchen across the street invited us all over for lunch any time we please, and you know I am not above taking food out of the mouths of the homeless. Sartorially, I think I'll fit in much better over there.

For my concerned relatives and anyone else who's interested, I've posted photos of my studio, bedroom, and the kitchen I spent three hours cleaning here. My friend Laura from Santa Fe came to visit yesterday and gave the place her seal of approval; she also likes my Couch Jedi outfit, so clearly she has good taste and high standards.

repelling bunny attacks

There is a deranged dog in this house: Every time a human approaches him,

he grabs this stuffed bunny in his mouth,

shakes his head back and forth, the bunny swinging wildly,

drops the bunny and snarls,

runs away from the bunny while barking frantically,

and then runs back to the bunny and tries to look innocent, as if he didn't just try to kill it (and isn't about to try and rape it, which is what comes next).

If forced to spend every day in a housing development in a suburb of Denver, I, too, would probably become a neurotic, obsessive animal.

In fact, if I'm stuck here tomorrow, I may steal the stuffed animal and have my way with it.

That's right, Bandit; I'm coming for the bunny.