Date: June 8, 2010
Meeting location: Conference Room A
Attending: Everyone who's anyone
Purpose: To conduct SERIOUS CLUB BUSINESS
8:00 p.m. Meeting called to order
I said order, goddammit! Chester! Go lie down!
8:01 p.m. Review of last meeting's minutes
8:02 p.m. Introduction of new business and nomination of new members
8:03 p.m. Bathroom break
8:08 p.m. Motion made to nominate Cranky Cheryl of the tasty (and famous!) food bl*g CrankyCakes to the Mark Bittman Minimalist Club (hereafter referred to as "M-Bitt's Mini Club"). Her qualifications include the following: Remember that asparagus pesto? She actually made it! And appears to have improved on it significantly! You can read about her version here: Either to avoid the club initiation rite that involved meeting me in a firelit cave and smearing pesto on her face or because she was wise to the fact that pureeing asparagus would only dilute its deliciousness, her version is "deconstructed." Or, as she points out, perhaps it's "preconstructed." Whichever: I think it looks perfect, made in the spirit of M-Bitt's pesto without being so borrrrrrrring.
8:10 p.m. Vote was unanimous: Cranky Cheryl, you're in.
8:11 p.m. Agenda for next meeting: World domination.
8:12 p.m. Meeting adjourned.
M-Bitt's Mini Club is rolling two deep, bitches: WE WILL NOT BE STOPPED.
Showing posts with label memoranda. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memoranda. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
memorandum
To: All Staff
From: Senior Mgmt.
Re: Hoarding
Apples
Effective immediately, the Department of Crisper Control will cease hoarding apples. According to our calculations, winter ended after today's snowfall, and a growth forecast indicates that the current supply of 26 honey crisps should last until strawberry season. God help us if these calculations are incorrect.
Muriel Spark
A committee has been formed to decide whether or not to hoard books by Muriel Spark. A preliminary report from the committee lists the following pro and con. Pro: The two novels studied by the committee thus far (The Girls of Slender Means and The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie) were amazing. Con: She's written 20+ novels, and they can't possibly all be this good. Or can they? Further study is needed.
Lucky Lady Design
It has come to our attention that Lucky Lady, senior assistant vice executive manager for commenting, has set up an Etsy shop. Although moonlighting is forbidden in her contract, after days of round-the-clock union negotiations it has been decided that instead of terminating her position here at GFD, an official policy of hoarding Lucky Lady's wares will be adopted, specifically headbands in pretty fabrics and belts with cool vintage buckles. She also makes super-cute aprons that will soon be part of the strict dress code in GFD kitchens, but demand currently outpaces supply.
KMO/cam
From: Senior Mgmt.
Re: Hoarding
Apples
Effective immediately, the Department of Crisper Control will cease hoarding apples. According to our calculations, winter ended after today's snowfall, and a growth forecast indicates that the current supply of 26 honey crisps should last until strawberry season. God help us if these calculations are incorrect.
Muriel Spark
A committee has been formed to decide whether or not to hoard books by Muriel Spark. A preliminary report from the committee lists the following pro and con. Pro: The two novels studied by the committee thus far (The Girls of Slender Means and The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie) were amazing. Con: She's written 20+ novels, and they can't possibly all be this good. Or can they? Further study is needed.
Lucky Lady Design
It has come to our attention that Lucky Lady, senior assistant vice executive manager for commenting, has set up an Etsy shop. Although moonlighting is forbidden in her contract, after days of round-the-clock union negotiations it has been decided that instead of terminating her position here at GFD, an official policy of hoarding Lucky Lady's wares will be adopted, specifically headbands in pretty fabrics and belts with cool vintage buckles. She also makes super-cute aprons that will soon be part of the strict dress code in GFD kitchens, but demand currently outpaces supply.
KMO/cam
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