Monday, October 12, 2009


I have to stop myself from starting pretty much every post to this bl*g with "Hey, bitches!" For example, tonight I wanted to write, "Hey, bitches, look at my pet bunny!"

because for some reason that's funnier to me than "Look at my pet bunny."

But seriously, bitches! There's a young Padawan learner in the house. That's right. This couch Jedi has an apprentice, and I am already teaching him the ways of the Force.

But this is not a bl*g about bunnies, it is (in my mind, where I regularly address you all as bitches) a bl*g about food, so here's the recipe for that flan I made last week. This flan is not, in fact, difficult to make. Rather, it is very, very easy (and delicious—rich and creamy but somehow not so filling that we didn't eat the whole thing on Friday night). Just don't try to touch the sugar once it has started to melt, no matter how fascinating it is to you that sugar melts. And remember that after the water bath has spent an hour in the oven, it's a hot water bath.

Leche Flan, Bitches!
This recipe is adapted from a flan made by someone named Kristina who was visiting the yachtsman's step-family's place in the Adirondacks a couple years ago. And when I say "adapted," I mean I changed the name from Leche Flan to Leche Flan, Bitches! Hilarious, right?

¾ cup sugar

8 large egg yolks
1 can (12 oz.), evaporated milk
1 can (14 oz.), sweetened condensed milk
1 tsp. vanilla extract

1. Preheat oven to 350˚. Melt sugar in a medium skillet over medium-low heat. Stir as needed to help dissolve any clumps. Remove from heat when amber/caramel colored (3–4 minutes). Immediately pour into a 9” pie plate, 8” round cake pan, or custard cups, tilting to completely cover the bottom of surface with the caramel. Set aside to cool.

2. Whisk all custard ingredients together. Pour over hardened sugar syrup.

3. Place pie plate or custard cups in a large, shallow, and very sturdy roasting or baking pan, and loosely cover with foil. Move to oven and carefully add hot water to achieve a 1” depth in pan, or the amount of water that is halfway up the side of the flan dish.

4. Bake for 50–60 minutes or until center is just set (mixture will jiggle). Individual cups will bake in about 25 minutes, depending on their size.

5. Very carefully remove the pan with the flan (remember: it contains very hot water [this warning was actually in the original recipe. Did I heed it? Never, bitches!). Remove the flan dish(es) from the water to a rack and allow to cool for about 1 hour. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 4 hours or overnight.

6. Serve cold. Run a dull knife around the flan to loosen from pan or custard cups and invert into a rimmed dish that can hold the syrup. Garnish with raspberries or a sliced strawberry and mint.


  1. Maybe his name should be BUnny!!!

  2. Bunny, no. This fellow needs a grown up Rabbit.

  3. EBiddie, sometimes I think we share a brain, as the comment I elected not to write earlier--for fear that perhaps our blog mistress already feels flooded with name suggestions--was a vote for "Rabbit."

    If only "Bimbo" weren't already taken...

  4. If I could name this dog Bunny, you know I would. And I fear Rabbit doesn't adhere to the yachtsman's strict naming standards, either. But I'm very pleased that J Quizzle thinks of me as his [bl*g] mistress.

  5. Sweet Jesus, is it snowing there already? Do you want to die?

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  7. So Candy's already cornered the market on Bimbo--but what about Hussy, or Slut? Manwhore?

    Mostly I just like the idea of the Yachtsman calling "Hus-sy!" in the park at 3 a.m. whilst the homeless woman squats surreptitiously in the distance.