the cat's name is grandma wrinkles

The littlest sister came over tonight and demanded beet greens for dinner. Then she demanded that we watch a very classy show called "The Real Housewives of New Jersey," which is on right now. Someone just put a ladybug costume on a hairless cat. Now an orange man and his orange wife are discussing whether she should get a boob job. In front of their three little girls.

kids say the darndest things

The yachtsman was out of town last night, so I planned to spend the evening doing all of my favorite/the yachtsman's least favorite things: Going to yoga, eating gruel, and watching Gossip Girl. When the littlest sister joined me for the night, rather than change my plans and do something that would appeal to a sprinkle-cake-eating, Twilight-watching twenty-one-year-old, I forced her to join in my old lady fun. (I actually didn't have to force her to watch GG -- she loves it -- but the yoga class and the gruel eating involved actual threats.)

Garbanzo beans with romesco and feta

The littlest sass on yoga: "Oh my god, that was so hard!" And then later in the evening: "Oh my god, I feel so...zen."

The littlest sass on sauteed beet greens topped with Doe's Leap feta cheese (which she DID NOT want to eat): "Oh my god, I don't get it -- why does this taste so good?"

The littlest sass on microbasil butter and radishes on toast (she BEGGED me not to put the radishes on her toast): "Oh my god, I love this! You asshole!"

The littlest sass on wilted arugula topped with a soft-boiled egg: "I will not be eating this again."

The littlest sass on Gossip Girl: "Oh my god, you totally think Chuck Bass is hot! And he's my age!"

Postprandial littlest sass: "Oh my god, is the gruel making you fart?"

And the indoctrination was complete.

happy birthday, littlest sass!

This tiny baby turns 21 today, and in honor of her birthday I said we would spend the day doing whatever she wants. What she wants is to eat pizza for lunch, go see a matinee of Twilight (“You’ll love it, Katie! It’s my new Titanic!”), and eat pizza for dinner. After dinner she has requested white cake with internal sprinkles and cream cheese frosting (I actually tried to talk her out of that particular combination, but the girl was adamant). She's lucky she's one of my favorite people, and one of the only people I would eat pizza, watch the new (or the old) Titanic, eat more pizza, and then eat sprinkle cake with.

As Maura put it, "Oh my god, we're going to die." And when we do we will be canonized.